Friday, April 25, 2008

Confessions of a Pseudo-Homemaker


I have come to the conclusion that stay-at-home moms/dads have the most well kept secret in the world. And it has to do with scheduling and organization. Now, I am not saying that those of us who work outside of the home don't know about scheduling and organization, after all, we do keep that paperwork up-to-date and juggle those business meetings with phone calls, etc. etc.
But what happens when we of the work world come home? You know, the ones like me, who are running off to nighttime meetings or some erstwhile events of grave importance? How many of us have said, "Oh, no, I couldn't possibly make that night, I will be cleaning my toilet, the fridge, the oven, doing dishes?" I know I have never uttered those words and I find myself suspect of someone who claims to have said such things.

So back to this secret, I believe that those who stay home have it all over us who go out to work when it comes to scheduling and organization. How else can they possibly get everything done, the dusting, the cleaning, the cooking, the shopping, the laundry, appointments, keeping up with the news; the list just goes on and on.

As a newly desginated stay-at-home homemaker, I get exhausted just thinking about how to spend my day. Today I decided to clean the refrigerator. Should take about 15-20 minutes I figured. HAH! First I had to empty it out, then I had to figure out how to take out the shelves, paying close attention so I get them back in right. Then off to the laundry tub to clean all of the components. While I washing out the veggie bins I see etched in the plastic the words "hand wash with warm water". I was going to send them out for dry cleaning? Anyway, while the bins were soaking, I started looking at the contents of the fridge now sitting on my kitchen counter. Hey, some of these things actually have expiration dates on them, I actually saw one that looked like "00" on the label. So now I have to go through ALL of the items and get rid of most. Do you think knowing these things is part of the secret? I do. You see, I have never been a stay at home person so these secrets escape me. Has someone, somewhere written a book?

I have always believed in the old addage of a home being "Clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be happy". Well, I and my cobwebs can attest to this being the biggest myth ever propagated on the go out to work peoples of the world! When we choose to work outside of the home are we really issued rose colored glasses and blinders so that when we walk through the front door we don't notice the dust bunnies having a wild party?

Now mind you, I do dishes, I do laundry, I even take care of the dog. I also dust occasionally, run the sweeper, yada yada yada. But you aren't going to see any Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval hanging on my front door. I think it is too late for me. I truly believe after a certain period of time, if you haven't learned the "secrets' they are lost to you forever.

So what am I going to do? I am going to sit back relax and let nature take its course, and take the following advice:
There was no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. ~Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant, 1968.

Maybe I will write my own book of secrets, a collection of secrets such as the following, gleaned from others:

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. ~Heloise Cruse
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. ~Author Unknown
A clean house is the sign of a boring person. ~Author Unknown
This house is protected by killer dust bunnies. ~Author Unknown
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? ~Erma Bombeck


Live, Love and Laugh for the Dust Bunnies shall prosper!

Sherri

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Love those quotes. Enjoy being home, I think it's great even though I never have enough time.
Pat