Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year!

The way I see it, there are two ways to approach a new year. Both involve reflecting on the old year and contemplating the new year. For some, this means looking at all the negativity they have faced and feel they will face again. For others, it is a way to embrace all the good that has happened and anticipating the good that will come.
I choose the latter. It is what keeps me going and keeps me focused. This past year I have found an inner strength I didn't know I had. I have found many new friends, a new church, and finally have the time to do some things that I have always wanted to do.
In the new year ahead of me, I am looking forward to many good times with new friends and old friends. Will it all be good? Probably not, but how it turns out will be up to me and the way I look at whatever life brings my way.
So, Happy New Year to each and every one who reads this. May life be kind, may love be sweet, and may all your trials and tribulations be a way to help you grow stronger in your attitude and your faith.
Sherri

Sunday, December 21, 2008

and the Goose is getting fat...

Not too much to report, that is why I haven't posted lately. Treatments are going well, or at least without complications. I have had a few minor things, dizziness, the ever present rash and a few episodes of low blood sugar. Overall, everything is under control.
I won't be getting my next CT scan until after the New Year. My CEA blood test was slightly elevated, but according to the doctor, it still isn't consistent with the disease.
I am still the case history on the table, as nothing has been within the so-called "normal" parameters. But, I still feel good, still get tired and still keeping busy.
I know everyone is probably caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season, I know I have been. Don't forget to take time for yourself and remember the reason for the season.
Sherri

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Thanksgiving, being thankful, etc.


First I hope all of you had a really wonderful Thanksgiving. I know I did. It is always great to share a meal with family and friends. I know some of us traveled far to be able to do this, but I am sure it was worth it. I got to spend my Thanksgiving with my sister, my niece and her husband and my great-niece, my brother-in-law and his mother and my niece's in-laws. It was a wonderful day.

One of our Thanksgiving traditions is to go around the table one by one sharing what we are thankful for. This year I found it a hard thing to talk about. I have so much to be thankful for, but it was so hard to put it into words. I have wonderfully supportive family, friends, and medical staff. In spite of all the complications I have encountered with my chemo, I am thankful that I am not going through as much as others I am familiar with. It really is true that no matter how bad things are, someone always has it worse.

I had a recent conversation with someone about not being able to do the things we used to be able to do. It is a difficult thing to realize that you now have limitations. I was asked how I am handling all of this and my response was that I have found new things to do. Since I am not working, I am volunteering more. This is something I am able to do and take great pleasure in doing so.

Oh, there are plenty of times when I feel that life has dealt me a lousy hand, but I refuse to let it keep me down. There is just so much more that I have to accomplish!

I keep busy visiting veteran's in the local veteran's home, helping my church when ever I can, helping to pack meals for shut-ins and keeping busy with the American Legion. It helps to keep me occupied and not feeling sorry for myself.

So cheer up if you aren't already. Go out and volunteer, it not only will give you a lift, but think of what it does for others!

I had another treatment this Monday, every Monday. The rash comes and never completely goes, but does ease up. I still can't sleep on Monday nights, but I am getting used to it. Hopefully my body will adjust. I will be having another CT scan either the end of this month or after the new year begins. So that is where things are this week.!

Sherri

Monday, November 17, 2008

Treatment Day - - again.

I had another Erbitux treatment today and so far all is well. The doctor told me I would have this rash as long as I am getting the Erbitux, but it may get a little better from time to time. Right now it is on my eyelids, as well as directly under my eyes, so I was prescribed some drops that go in the eyes and on the eye lids. They also prescribed a special mouthwash to ease the sore mouth. Also, the rash is not spreading any more, so that is good.
If I didn't previously state it, they tell me the rash means the Erbitux is working; I sure hope I am getting some benefit from this discomfort.
Oh well, until next week...
Sherri

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Those ain't just rosy cheeks folks...







I know that many of you haven't seen me in a while, most of you prior to the hair loss and definitely not since the rash, so I thought I would share some pictures with you.
Now what does the rash feel like? Well, it is tight like a bad sun burn, it itches like you would expect a rash to itch, it burns and stings and it is drying my skin. I have a topical antibotic, some green tea facial serum, special face wash, plus an organic moisturizer to use. They help to relieve some of the itching, burning, etc., but nothing lasts very long.
Is it going to go away? From what I have read, most likely not, unless the doctor stops using the Erbitux, which probably won't happen. She may reduce the dosage, that remains to be seen.
Is it any where besides my face? Yes, it is traveling downwards, it is on my neck, some on my chest and it keeps moving south. The corners of my mouth are affected, as is the inside of my mouth.
So, like I said, those ain't just rosy cheeks...
Sherri






Monday, November 10, 2008

Veteran's Day 2008

God Bless our Veterans and God Bless America!




Catching Up...

A friend pointed out to me that it has been quite a while since I lasted posted here, and she was wondering if I am doing okay. So I will try to bring things up to date.
1. CT Scan results: largest tumor on the dome of the liver is stable, the cancer has not spread anywhere else, there is a new smaller tumor and the previous tumors have slightly enlarged.
2. New course of treatment: I will still be getting the Camptosar every 3 weeks, but on the weeks in between I will be getting Erbitux.
3. I will be going to the cardiologist on 11/21 to start an evaluation for Avastin (which I am still not convinced about).

I had my first Erbitux treatment on Monday 11/3 and by Thursday I was getting a rash. By Friday, my face looked a mess. I have a rash all over my face, down my neck and have some on my chest. The nurses tell me, that even though the rash is ugly, it indicates that the Erbitux is working. All I know is that the rash generates heat, itches and burns. And there isn't much to be done about it. I hope subsequent treatments don't make it worse. I had the 2nd treatment of Erbitux today.

I have been feeling rather well, considering. I do get tired for a day or 2 after treatments, but that is pretty much it.

Nothing else much to report at this point. Sherri

www.Cancer.Net for info on Erbitux and Avastin

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Treatment 6

Today was treatment day. I only received the Camptosar this week, but at a stronger dose. Of course still getting the anti-nausea drug first, which has a steroid in it that gives me a headache and keeps me awake. It is currently 3:09 AM and I have read a complete book, Sundays at Tiffanys by James Patterson (a great read BTW, thanks Susan!) and here I sit.

I have to go back to the doctor's at 8:30 AM for the usual Neulasta shot for my white cell count, which was a little low today. Other than all the above I am feeling good.

However, my allergies are kickin' big time! Gotta just love Indian Summer!
Sherri

Friday, October 10, 2008

CT Scan and more...

I went for my regular oncology appoinment on 10/6/08 and to get the results of my CT scan done 10/1/08. We did not do a treatment as the doctor is keeping the chemo to every three weeks. However, sometime in the near future, probably either the next treatment or the one after that, we will add in Erbitux, which is given weekly. The Camptosar will stay every 3 weeks. Also in my future will be a full cardiac evaluation. My oncologist explained to me the difference between the Erbitux and the Avastin and also why she wants me to have both. As you know from previous posts, I was against having the Avastin due to family cardiac history and possible side effects. But, and this is a BIG BUT, due to my reactions so far we are down to only 3 treatment options, one of which I am already receiving, the other two being the Erbitux and the Avastin.
CT update: the news was a good news/bad news situation. Good news: the cancer has not spread to any other location in my body, and the largest tumor on the liver is stable. The bad news: there is a slight increase in small tumors in the liver. The two treatments that they want to add to my cocktail work to cut off the blood supply to the tumors and work to kill cells on the surface of the tumors, all of which can slow everything down, prolonging my life. Unfortunately, there is no cure, short of a miracle, but I believe in miralces!
Sherri

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Behind the Five Ball (Treatment five)


Well, it seems that 5(not 8) is the unlucky number for me. As you remember, when I reached treatment 5 on the first go round, I got dehydrated and wound up in the hospital.

Monday (9/22/08) I had treatment #5 on the newest cocktail. It started with the usual anti-nausea meds, a little steroid and some Benadryl (all routine for my treatemnts). As I pleasantly dozed off compliments of the Benadryl, I heard the nurse calling my name. As I tiredly answered her she asked if I was okay to which I replied, "Yes, why?", she informed me that I was a lovely shade of pink. I looked down and low and behold I was covered with a mottled type rash that as I was looking at it began to grow together until I was one big red blotch.

At this point I was receiving the Oxaliplatin, which I have been getting since day one of my chemo. The Oxi was stopped and I was given extra Benadryl and extra steroids to counteract the reaction.

So the outcome is this; no more Oxaliplatin for me. I will also most likely being going back to weekly treatments of the Camptosar and down the line they might add in some Erbatux. I didn't sleep all night Monday night, Benadryl does that to me. But I did sleep all day Tuesday, all day Wednesday and 1/2 of Thursday (with food and bathroom breaks).

So for now, that's where things stand. I will be having the re-staging CT scan this week. I will keep you all informed, please keep me in your prayers.

Sherri

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Treatment #4


Sorry for any of you who have been looking for updates, but I have been sick again. After my last treatment, 9-2-08, I was feeling kind of tired, but figured this will pass after a few days. Unfortunately, after a few days I began with diarrhea again. It stopped for 2-3 days then started up again and didn't stop! I wound up getting dehydrated again, which meant more IV fluids, 2 times at the doctor's office. It also meant loads of anti-diarrheal medication, medicine to stop stomach cramps and nothing was working. And I lost 13 pounds in one week (NOT Recommended). I finally took some Percoset to stop the cramping pain and that stopped the diarrhea too! Until this evening. I will wait and see what tomorrow brings and if it continues I have to call the oncology nurses. My next treatment is on 9-22-08, so don't know what is going to happen there. I was supposed to have a CT scan Tuesday for restaging, but that has to be postponed also.

Let me say this, this is no fun. I sleep most of the time (when the cramps aren't keeping me awake!) or I spend time in the bathroom.

I really don't remember signing up for this committee!!

On a positive note, I noticed yesterday that my hair is growing!!! I still can't do a thing with it, it is very thin and very fine, but it is getting longer! BTW the above picture is from June, when I was in the hospital and when I still had hair!

Yeah!

Sherri

Monday, September 1, 2008

Just For Fun!




There are 1 or fewer people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?


(Thanks Connie!)

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Labor Day - What does it mean?


As Labor Day is approaching, I find that my thoughts turn to "What does Labor Day mean"? Oh, I know the "traditional" meaning, but what has it come to mean through the years other than the traditional meaning? To some it signifies the unofficial end of summer; the beginning of school, leaves changing colors, birds flying south, the coming of winter, football!

To others, it brings a dread of early darkness, no more basking in the sun, no more swimming, the end of baseball.

I for one look forward to the fall. I love that early morning crispness in the air, the smells that come with fall, the magnificent portraits painted on every hillside and in every valley. I love to curl up in a blanket on a Sunday afternoon with a cool breeze blowing through the window. I am one of those who actually enjoys wearing a jacket as football weather descends upon us. I love the multitude of colors of chrysanthemums, the sounds of marching bands, and cheering crowds.
And, I look forward to the first frost, Halloween, full moons, pumpkins, apples and a trip to my favorite childhood apple orchard.

Fall is already in the air. The leaves on my dogwood tree have been changing color for weeks now, and it is already full of those messy red berries. Yes folks, fall is on it's way.

Hooray!!! Sherri

Saturday, August 16, 2008

The Joys of Being a Great Aunt



The pictures say it all!







Cancer

Cancer is limited.

It cannot cripple love.

It cannot shatter hope.

It cannot corrode faith.

It cannot eat away peace.

It cannot destroy confidence.

It cannot kill friendship.

It cannot shut out memories.

It cannot silence courage.

It cannot invade the soul.

It cannot reduce eternal life.

It cannot quench the Spirit.

It cannot lessen the power of the resurrection. Author Unknown


Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. (Isaiah 46:4)

Treatment Three and more Thoughts From Barbara Johnson


I had my 3rd IROX treatment this week, and the side effects were the same as with treatment #2; extreme tiredness, nausea, headache, slight diarrhea, the intolerance to cold and just a general feeling of YUCK! But, one good thing, having the treatment on Monday, by Friday I am feeling better. We have been having the most beautiful weather, although a bit too dry. And for those of you who watch the signs of changing seasons, the leaves on my dogwood tree began changing colors at least 3 weeks ago. I guess we are going to have an early fall.
Now as for Barbara Johnson, for those of you who are not familiar with her writing, Barbara is a popular speaker on the Women of Faith conference tour and is considered the best selling female Christian author in the world. I discovered her works years ago and continue to find her inspirational and funny! Barbara was diagnosed with cancer in 2001, prepared herself to meet her maker, and in her words, "Unexpectedly...I kept on living."
So I give you some quips from the above book, I hope you laugh like I did, as I have found that humor, along with faith, is the only way to get through each day.
1. Some days you're the pigeon, some days the statue.
2. Time may be a great healer, but it is a lousy beautician.
3. They say life begins at 50, it begins all right, to disintegrate.
4. I'm not confused, I'm just well mixed.
And a note from Barbara regarding her cancer: People treat you differently when they find out you have cancer, especially people who are acquaintances rather than close friends. They look at you differently, and a lot of the time, I don't like the unspoken words I see in their eyes: Poor you. You've got cancer. You're going to die. It's made me want to follow another cancer patient's urges and a wear a T-shirt that says: Yes, I have cancer. Yes, I'm going to die. And so are you.
One thing I have found, is that some people, even friends, find it hard to accept my candidness and openess about my cancer. So if you someday see me wearing a T-shirt stating the above, don't be too shocked. To quote Barbara again, "The best laughter is the kind that's shared".
Sherri

Friday, July 25, 2008

Pink Hair, Side Effects & Treatment Two


I had my second treatment this week with the new drug combo, IROX. The doctor took me up to full dosage, so the side effects have been there. First I experienced nausea on Tuesday, not the greatest feeling, it lasted all night. Wednesday, I slept most of the day. I also experienced a feeling similar to having a sinus headache. I also had to get a Neulasta shot on Tuesday which is a boost for my immune system (white cell count was a little low).

Today, I woke up feeling fine. So I guess that is how the week will go following a treatment. I can live with it!

My hair is still falling out, there is hair everywhere! My dog doesn't shed this much. The funny thing about it though is I seem to be losing mostly the dark hair and retaining the grays! Go figure.

I have a surprise retirement party to go to tomorrow night, with a luau theme. I am thinking I will go to the party store today and buy some neon pink hairspray - it will match the blouse I am wearing for the party.

Have a great weekend and following week. Sherri

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Tony Snow's Testimony on Life & Death


This was forwarded to me by a friend and I thought I would share it.

Sherri


This is a beautiful testimony on life and death from Tony Snow, President Bush's former Press Secretary. A Catholic convert, a Conservative writer, commentator and broadcaster Tony Snow announced in 2005 that he had colon cancer. Following surgery and chemotherapy, Snow joined the Bush Administration in April 2006 as Press Secretary. On March 23, 2007, Snow, 51, announced the cancer had recurred, with tumors found in his abdomen, leading to surgery in April, followed by more chemotherapy. Snow went back to work in the White House Briefing Room on May 30, 2007, but resigned once again due to illness. At age 53, Tony, a husband and father of three, passed away in the early morning hours on Saturday, July 12, 2008. Below is Tony's testimony on life and death.

*********
Tony Snow's Testimony on Life & Death:

This is a beautiful testimony on life and death from Tony Snow, President Bush's former Press Secretary. A Conservative writer, commentator and broadcaster Tony Snow announced in 2005 that he had colon cancer. Following surgery and chemotherapy, Snow joined the Bush Administration in April 2006 as Press Secretary. On March 23, 2007, Snow, 51, announced the cancer had recurred, with tumors found in his abdomen, leading to surgery in April, followed by more chemotherapy. Snow went back to work in the White House Briefing Room on May 30, 2007, but resigned once again due to illness. At age 53, Tony, a husband and father of three, passed away in the early morning hours on Saturday, July 12, 2008. Below is Tony's testimony on life and death.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *

'Blessings arrive in unexpected packages, - in my case, cancer. Those of us with potentially fatal diseases - and there are millions in America today - find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our mortality while trying to fathom God's will. Although it would be the height of presumption to declare with confidence 'What It All Means,' Scripture provides powerful hints and consolations.

The first is that we shouldn't spend too much time trying to answer the 'why' questions: Why me? Why must people suffer? Why can't someone else get sick? We can't answer such things, and the questions themselves often are designed more to express our anguish than to solicit an answer.

I don't know why I have cancer, and I don't much care. It is what it is, a plain and indisputable fact. Yet even while staring into a mirror darkly, great and stunning truths begin to take shape. Our maladies define a central feature of our existence: We are fallen. We are imperfect. Our bodies give out.

But despite this, - or because of it, - God offers the possibility of salvation and grace. We don't know how the narrative of our lives will end, but we get to choose how to use the interval between now and the moment we meet our Creator face-to-face.

Second, we need to get past the anxiety. The mere thought of dying can send adrenaline flooding through your system. A dizzy, unfocused panic seizes you. Your heart thumps; your head swims. You think of nothingness and swoon. You fear partings; you worry about the impact on family and friends. You fidget and get nowhere.

To regain footing, remember that we were born not into death, but into life,- and that the journey continues after we have finished our days on this earth. We accept this on faith, but that faith is nourished by a conviction that stirs even within many non believing hearts - an intuition that the gift of life, once given, cannot be taken away. Those who have been stricken enjoy the special privilege of being able to fight with their might, main, and faith to live fully, richly, exuberantly - no matter how their days may be numbered.

Third, we can open our eyes and hearts. God relishes surprise. We want lives of simple, predictable ease, smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see, - but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance; and comprehension - and yet don't. By His love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise.

'You Have Been Called'. Picture yourself in a hospital bed. The fog of anesthesia has begun to wear away. A doctor stands at your feet, a loved one holds your hand at the side. 'It's cancer,' the healer announces.

The natural reaction is to turn to God and ask him to serve as a cosmic Santa. 'Dear God, make it all go away. Make everything simpler.' But another voice whispers: 'You have been called.' Your quandary has drawn you closer to God, closer to those you love, closer to the issues that matter,- and has dragged into insignificance the banal concerns that occupy our 'normal time.'

There's another kind of response, although usually short-lived an inexplicable shudder of excitement, as if a clarifying moment of calamity has swept away everything trivial and tiny, and placed before us the challenge of important questions.

The moment you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change. You discover that Christianity is not something doughy, passive, pious, and soft. Faith may be the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. But it also draws you into a world shorn of fearful caution. The life of belief teems with thrills, boldness, danger, shocks, reversals, triumphs, and epiphanies. Think of Paul, traipsing through the known world and contemplating trips to what must have seemed the antipodes (Spain), shaking the dust from his sandals, worrying not about the morrow, but only about the moment.

There's nothing wilder than a life of humble virtue, - for it is through selflessness and service that God wrings from our bodies and spirits the most we ever could give, the most we ever could offer, and the most we ever could do.

Finally, we can let love change everything. When Jesus was faced with the prospect of crucifixion, he grieved not for himself, but for us. He cried for Jerusalem before entering the holy city. From the Cross, he took on the cumulative burden of human sin and weakness, and begged for forgiveness on our behalf.

We get repeated chances to learn that life is not about us, that we acquire purpose and satisfaction by sharing in God's love for others. Sickness gets us part way there. It reminds us of our limitations and dependence. But it also gives us a chance to serve the healthy. A minister friend of mine observes that people suffering grave afflictions often acquire the faith of two people, while loved ones accept the burden of two peoples' worries and fears.

'Learning How to Live'. Most of us have watched friends as they drifted toward God's arms, not with resignation, but with peace and hope. In so doing, they have taught us not how to die, but how to live. They have emulated Christ by transmitting the power and authority of love.

I sat by my best friend's bedside a few years ago as a wasting cancer took him away. He kept at his table a worn Bible and a 1928 edition of the Book of Common Prayer. A shattering grief disabled his family, many of his old friends, and at least one priest. Here was an humble and very good guy, someone who apologized when he winced with pain because he thought it made his guest uncomfortable. He retained his equanimity and good humor literally until his last conscious moment. 'I'm going to try to beat [this cancer],' he told me several months before he died. 'But if I don't, I'll see you on the other side.'

His gift was to remind everyone around him that even though God doesn't promise us tomorrow, he does promise us eternity, - filled with life and love we cannot comprehend, - and that one can in the throes of sickness point the rest of us toward timeless truths that will help us weather future storms.

Through such trials, God bids us to choose: Do we believe, or do we not? Will we be bold enough to love, daring enough to serve, humble enough to submit, and strong enough to acknowledge our limitations? Can we surrender our concern in things that don't matter so that we might devote our remaining days to things that do?

When our faith flags, he throws reminders in our way. Think of the prayer warriors in our midst. They change things, and those of us who have been on the receiving end of their petitions and intercessions know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you feel a surge of the Spirit. Somehow you just know: Others have chosen, when talking to the Author of all creation, to lift us up, - to speak of us!

This is love of a very special order. But so is the ability to sit back and appreciate the wonder of every created thing. The mere thought of death somehow makes every blessing vivid, every happiness more luminous and intense. We may not know how our contest with sickness will end, but we have felt the ineluctable touch of God.

What is man that Thou art mindful of him? We don't know much, but we know this: No matter where we are, no matter what we do, no matter how bleak or frightening our prospects, each and every one of us who believe, each and every day, lies in the same safe and impregnable place, in the hollow of God's hand.'
T. Snow

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Acceptance or Submission?


Like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz giving directions, acceptance and/or submission can go "That-a-way".

I have been contemplating the definition of these two words for the past week. Do they really have opposite meanings or are they synonymous? What I have found is that to some, they are synonymous, but to me they are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

I had a recent discussion with someone about my cancer and I told them that I have come to terms with my illness (acceptance). They in turn asked me if I have given up the fight (submission).

My stand is, Okay, I got this, now what are we going to do about it? Does that sound like submission? To me it doesn't.

Anyway, it is not an easy fight. I have put up with being sick enough to land in the hospital, I have put up with being so tired I couldn't see straight, I have put up with bouts of nausea and sleepless nights. But I haven't submitted to this disease.

And now, I am undergoing perhaps the greatest insult of all, I am losing my hair. It came on suddenly yesterday and was worse today. Did I submit and withdraw? Heck No! I went and got my hair cut extremely short. It is still falling out and my hairdresser says it could possibly be gone in 2 weeks time. I had a little pity party yesterday, today I am trying on hats. I refuse to wear a turban or a scarf, I just don't like them.

So I will break out my buffing cloth, some baseball caps, learn to wear eyebrow pencil and just go about my life with my head held high - even if it winds up being bald!

Submission - not on your life!

Sherri

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Happy Birthday America!


Happy 4th of July to all! In Philadelphia today, Ben Franklin and Betsy Ross got married by Mayor Nutter. For those of you who are history buffs, you will know that Ben was at least 50 years older than Betsy, and they never really met. But, here in Philly, the two people who portray these historic figures, actually did get married for real. It was quite a wedding!
Enjoy your barbecues, families and fireworks! Keep safe!
Love, Sherri

So Far So Good!

Well, so far this week, I have not experienced any dreadful side effects from the new drug. I hope it continues this way. I do get slight nausea after I eat, but this is easily controlled with an anti-nausea pill. Other than not sleeping all night the first night of the new treatment, I am feeling well. The only thing other than the nausea that I have noticed, is that I get winded very easily, not fun!
No more to report at this time. Sherri

Monday, June 30, 2008

Back in the Saddle Again!

Well, after a 2 week break, I began my chemo again today. This time, we switched drugs. I was against the switch at first, but after a long, informative exchange with my oncologist, I agreed to the change.
It seems that using the 5FU, with my body already showing signs of toxicity, continuing with this drug would be like playing Russian Roulette. And, understandably, my Doctor isn't willing to play Russian Roulette with my life.
I was concerned about the effectiveness of the IROX (reportedly less effective), but my oncologist pointed out that at reduced dosages, the 5FU was no more effective. She feels that we have already lost valuable time and would prefer to move on with my treatment plan. If I stayed with the 5FU treatment, I could wind up back in the hospital and lose time again. Not going there!
So, today is the 1st day of my new regime. Hopefully all goes well. One plus, they did test to see if I had a sensitivity to the Camptosar and I do not!
If you should go out onto the information highway, I can tell you ahead of time, there is a host of information about my treatments and for as many different articles out there, there also that many different opinions as to effectiveness. So for now I am taking a side road, less confusing, less nerve racking!
See you all soon, Sherri

New drug: Irinotecan (Camptosar) + Oxaliplatin

Monday, June 23, 2008

A Little Levity Please!


Sometimes I get bogged down in seriousness, not that cancer isn't serious. But sometimes, you just have to let it go and find some humor or you will drive yourself crazy. In my case that could be a short putt! Just like when the doctors ask me if I am experiencing light headness or dizziness, I have to tell them that the dizziness is considered questionable by many who know me.
So I decided that I would take some time and write something light hearted and maybe even a bit funny. I know it will lift my spirits and I hope it lifts yours also.
Several years ago I was fortunate to come across a Book entitled, Pack Up Your Gloomies in a Great Big Box, then sit on the lid and laugh! It is written by Barbara Johnson. If you haven't read her, or even heard of her, I highly recommend searching her out.
so here are some Gloomee Busters:
1. Have you ever felt that even though you're taking things one day at a time, it's about 24
hours more than you can take?
2. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
3. If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
4. The soul would have no rainbows if the eyes had no tears.
5. God never has too say "Ooops".
6. If it's free, it's advice, if you pay for it, it's counseling, if you can use either one, it's a miracle!
7. Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, It's not!
8. But even Kings can't rule the sky.
9. If you can't go around it, over it or through it, you had better negotiate with it!
I can't keep people from feeling sad, depressed or feeling sorry for me or themselves. What I can do is offer insight into what is happening with me and offer "Gloomee Busters" every now and then.
Until the next time, remember, Always Take Your Rainbow With You!
Sherri

Making Choices - Weighing the Odds


Today I spoke with my oncologist about my optioins for continued chemotherapy. As you know, I have a predisposition for a sensitivity to the 5FU. The new drug the oncologist wants to try, Irinitecan (Camptosar) has a whole host of its own side effects as well as not being as effective in treating my cancer and has a shorter survival rate. So herein lies my dilemma; am I going to be able to convince my oncologist to continue the Folfox treatments, maybe with some changes in dosage? I surely hope so, as it is a choice I feel is mine to make and one that I feel needs to be made. I did extensive research on the Irinitecan and feel it would be too much for my system, the side effects are much worse than anything I have already had and the outcomes are not very good.
So, everyone, keep saying your prayers, keep your fingers crossed, doing the happy dance, or whatever it takes to make the doctor agree with me to continue my current course of treatment. With a lot of prayer and little bit of luck, my body will adjust to this too!
Ahhh - Give me the simple life. Sherri

Saturday, June 21, 2008

When the "C" word hits home.


I was first diagnosed with cancer on February 26, 2008. Since that day, I have been through a whirlwind of tests, seeing different doctors and having surgery on 3/18/08. At that time they did what is called a left hemi-colectomy, which is the removal of the section of my colon where the cancer was found. After the surgery I began chemo therapy on 5/5/08. Knowing that I had a predisposition to sensitivity to the one chemical (5FU) that is the standard course of treatment for my type of cancer. The doctor did reduced dosages, trying to build up my tolerance to the drug and all seemed to be going well until they added in Oxaliplatin, which boosts the 5FU.

So now, after a 6 day stay in the hospital, the oncologist is going to try to embark on a new course of treatment that would eliminate the 5FU. But there is a catch 22, I could also have a sensitivity to this new drug. Waiting for the test results on that one.

Anyway, the point of writing here today was not to give technical info, but a little background was needed before I say what is on my mind.

All of the above has happened and rather quickly. My life has changed dramatically, I am diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, I have surgery, I begin chemo, I am no longer working and I didn't get the brass ring.

After going to the ER on Thursday, 6/12/08, knowing I was going to be admitted, several things happened. One was having to tell people over and over again that I had cancer. Saying it out loud so many times finally begins to wear on the nerves. The final straw was when they eventually took me up to my room, and I was being wheeled under the archway that said "Rosenfeld Cancer Center". That is when I lost it, that is when it hit home. The merry go round has finally begun to slow down and I can read the writing on the wall. And let me tell you, it is sobering. I really don't like this game, can we change the rules???

Sherri




My Stay at Hotel Abington


More specifically, at the Rosenfeld Cancer Center. It wasn't a planned vacation for sure, but a more or less pleasant stay regardless.
After my last chemo treatment (week 5) I started to feel badly. I tried to ignore the feelings as I had a nice long Cape May weekend planned with the girls. By Friday, the day we were to leave, I really felt lousy and had begun diarrhea. Over the weekend I developed abdominal pain and couldn't eat. So first thing Monday when we returned home I went to the oncologist where I got a 2 hour infusion of fluids. I had to return Tuesday for another 4 hour fluid infusion. After the infusion I came home and took a nap. When I woke, I was running a fever. As fortune would have it, I had the phone in my hand ready to call my Guardian Angel, Connie, when the phone rang and it was her! I asked her if she could come be with me, just knew I didn't want to be alone. Now mind you, she was relaxing in her pool at her home in New Jersey when I asked her to come over. Without hesitation, she was by my side as soon as she could get her things together and get over the bridge. As it turned out, we needed to make a trip to the ER Tuesday night due to my continued symtoms. They kept me all night long, did all types of tests then sent me home at 5AM. Wednesday was so-so. Connie made me dinner and I was actually able to eat for the first time since Saturday. The problem was that everything I ate or drank was going right through me, and I was still running intermittent fevers. So an early Thursday morning call to my oncologist sent me back to the ER where I was admitted.
Thus, my 6 day stay at Hotel Abington! I was poked at, peeked at and prodded for 6 days with no conclusion as to whether or not I picked up some dirty little bug or whether it was all due to a reaction to the chemo. I was dehydrated, my potassium bottomed out and my magnesium was too low, so I was given lots and lots of fluids and was not allowed to have food or drink by mouth. After all the tests, the general consensus was that it was my body reacting to the chemo drugs. So now they are looking for alternatives. Oh Joy!
Connie stayed by my side for 2 days, running back to my house in-between to take care of the house. She gave me one less thing to worry about! BTW, couldn't get through here without also sending many hugs and kisses to Robin. Without her love and support and help with my puppy, Rags, I don't know what I would do! Love you Robin!
And of course, thank you to all of you who called, sent cards and came to see me. The sad part is, I now have a bag packed and ready for any future stays at Hotel Abington. As much as I hope there are none, at least I will be prepared.
What a Girl Scout!
Sherri

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Party Time - Chemo Week 5

COCKTAIL MIX OF THE WEEK I have now finished week five of my chemo. Today they added in the oxaliplatin, an IV drip that ran simoultaniousy with the leucovorin. Of course preceded by the complimetary anti-naseau medicine and an hore d'ouvre of Benedryl (to ward off any possible allergic reaction to the Oxaliplatin). And then I got a lovely dessert of the 5FU at the end.

Next week I only have to have blood work done, no chemo. If I tolerate today's party, and the blood counts are good little party goers and stay where they belong, then on the 16th I will get all the above, but come home with a pump for 44 hours that contains the 5FU. Then if all continues to go well, I will only have to go every other week for my cocktails.

So for today, the party is over. But I got invited to come again!

Sherri

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Relieved and Reprieved - Chemo Day 4


I guess I should actually be calling this Chemo Week 4. This week there were no changes in the chemo. The oncologist wasn't there and she did not want to make any changes unless she was there. So they did not increase the dosage and they did not add in the oxaliplatin. So for this week I got a reprieve. However, on Wednesday I did experience my first bout of naseau. It was only slight, but none-the-less, uncomfortable. I also spent most of Wednesday sleeping, but this is becoming the norm for the day after chemo.

When I left the office Monday, the oncology nurse said, "See you next week, then we will probably add in the oxali." "Yeah", I said. "That's when the party begins." to which she nicely replied with a smile!

The oncology nurses are great, Shannon, Cathy, Tricia and Ruth. Actually, the whole office staff is very nice! They make me feel comfortable and they are genuinely concerned with my welfare.

Anyway, that is week 4.


Time marches on...Sherri

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Memorial Day 2008


As the weekend stretches out, please take a moment between your yard work, hot dogs and hamburgers and whatever else your plans are for this weekend, to remember those who have given their lives so that we can enjoy the freedoms we have today.


It actually saddens me to know that the principles this great country was built on are being so sorely compromised by these very freedoms. As I reflect upon the words at the base of the Statue of Liberty; Give me your tired, your poor,Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.Send these — the homeless, tempest-tossed — to me;I lift my lamp beside the Golden Door, it saddens me to know that the reasons so many have sought our shores, the freedoms that we are so lucky to have, are now being compromised by these same peoples who want to change the "American" way of life into what they left behind. If what they left behind was so wonderful, why are they here?


This is America, we speak American and we believe in the American way of life. We believe that our country was formed as "One nation Under God", we believe in waving the American flag, and singing the National Anthem, we believe in baseball and apple pie.


However, please remember that the "American" way of life came with a price tag. For all of those who fought the brave fight to keep this way of life, thank you. To those who died defending this way of life, I remember and honor you.


Freedom is Not Free, God Bless and Keep America.


Sherri

Friday, May 23, 2008

I get a B- Chemo week 3


By that I mean I am up to 80% of the chemo drug. The doctor upped me from 60% to 80% due to the fact that I am holding my own and not having major side effects. I have experienced major tiredness and I am still having the burning watery eyes, but that I can live with. All though the tiredness did last longer this week. Of course the lovely rainy weather didn't help spark any energy either! My blood counts are holding and my iron level is coming up, so all is good. I do have to go this morning and have blood counts done again. This is to make sure everything is staying where it should after the increase and also because next week, if all is still well, they want to add in the oxaliplatin.
And that is when things could get exciting!
Sherri

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Should I Get a Refund...


What is "But, You Don't Look Sick"?

You almost feel as if you should apologize for not looking different or sick. I find it interesting that people who haven't seen me are expecting me to somehow look different. That is what happens when you have an invisable disease.

Chemo Day 2
Aside from the rainy, windy miserable day, my second treatment on Monday, 5/12/08, went well. They increased the dosage to 60% and so far I have had no major side effects. It seems that I get tired at the drop of a hat, like a wave coming over me and I have to sleep. The appetite isn't the best and I have been experiencing some light headedness along with some dizziness (no comments, please). But I make myself eat, and the rest comes from having low iron. I am taking iron supplements (750mgs per day) and my red blood cell count is coming up slowly, but is still below normal. The only other side effect which I find to be the most bothersome, is having watery, burning eyes. The doctor looked at me strangely when I mentioned this to her, but it has happened with both treatments. Maybe it is coincidence with allergy season. Time will tell.

So, that is how the 2nd chemo treatment went. Hopefully all future treatments follow the same path.

Sherri

Friday, May 9, 2008

Brighton Beach Memoirs


Why this title you may ask? I remembered this movie while riding home from Allura Wig Salon today. Now I may not need a wig, I may not lose my hair, but I don't want to walk around all wispy with 3 or 4 strands attached to my scalp either. So like the Boy Scouts, I am prepared. Now what does all of this have to do with Brighton Beach Memoirs? For those of you who are not familiar with this movie, or the play (both by Neil Simon), it is a story of coming of age in New York in 1937. Young Eugene Jerome lives with his parents and some of his extended family, one of whom is his Aunt Blanche whose husband died of ((((cancer)))) 6 years prior to the start of the story.

1937, a year when people still whispered the word ((((cancer)))), as if saying it out loud would bring the dreaded disease to their doorstep, like the final plague of Egypt (Exodus 11:1-12:36).

So, I got to wondering, how far will people go to avoid saying the word ((((cancer))))? I tried to Google slang words for ((((cancer)))) and couldn't really find any other than the "Big C" or the "C Word". I guess it has been whispered for so long, that slang hasn't had a chance to develop. Now mind you, I am not making light of this indiscriminate opportunist, but I am keeping light hearted.

My theory is this, if I say the word out loud, and show others that I can talk about this monster that has taken up residence in my body, than maybe they will be comfortable talking to me. Please be comfortable talking to me about this and how I feel, I really don't mind! When you think about it, most of us have a family member or know someone who has, had or died from ((((cancer)))).

Three and 1/2 years ago when I had my first colonoscopy and 9 benign polyps were removed, I was told to come back in 3 years. Now they are telling people with the same results to come back in one year. The standard protocol then is outdated now. The medical profession has learned from people like me. Am I angry, NO! Do I hope that my diagnosis makes it better for others in the future, YES! Do you need any other reason to make an appointment for YOUR colonoscopy?

When I had my gastric bypass, I was not one to regret it, or ever ask "What did I do to myself" ?and I am not now one to ask "Why me" ? I will continue to live my life as normally as possible until I can't.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross defined the stages of grief as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. They don't necessarily happen in that order, some never happen and sometimes several happen at the same time. This can apply not only to the one who is afflicted, but to the ones who love them too. It is normal.

((((Cancer)))) is a lot of things to a lot of people. It brings forth many feelings and emotions. Let yourself feel them, work through them. I know I am, I have too. Just remember, at the end of the rainbow is the pot of gold!

By the way, if you didn't grow up when I did with all of my family, you won't recognize the picture at the top. All of "us" will. For those who don't, Breton Woods was our Brighton Beach, drama, laughter and all! I found this picture on Google Images, a bit before our time, but if you took that old car out of the picture, it sure looks like the old club house I remember!

Eugene Morris Jerome:
I'm putting all this down in my memoirs, so if I grow up twisted and warped, the world will know why.

That's All Folks, Sherri






Tuesday, May 6, 2008

"Cocktailed"


I don't think after Monday I will ever think of a "cocktail" the same again. Not that I am a big drinker or even a connoisseur of what it takes to make a good cocktail, one glass of wine and I'm done. But now "cocktail" does have a whole new meaning to me. Dictionary.com does define cocktail as various mixed drinks consisting of rum, vodka, gin...etc., also mixed with fruit juices or flavorings. Further on in the definition it also defines it as a solution concocted of various drugs...aha.. enter in chemotherapy. By no means was this an unpleasant experience, no awful smells (not that I would be aware of them anyhow), no problems with conversation and gee, cell phones were even functioning. BUT, I was not the recipient of the "cocktail". I'm not sure what I really expected. I kept asking Sherry if she felt anything different or weird, I know she didn't look any different or weird (except when her eye suddenly started itching, but then she just put her glasses on to stop the eye strain). I probably got "mother henish" with her to a point because I just kept thinking something would happen, maybe she would glow or float or forget who I was. But fortunately I just had an over active imagination about all that stuff. After all, this was the first time I ever sat with someone receiving a chemotherapy treatment.

It's the kind of cocktail that I hope most of you never have to experience. However, it is the "cocktail" that will stop the dreaded cancer from finding a new address in Sherry and extend her quality of life and her years longer than any of us know. So you see I would never before have associated the word "cocktail" with hope, therefore I will never think of it the same again.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Happy Cinco de Mayo - - Day 1 Chemo


I thought I would share some famous dates, birthdays and events in history that share today's date:


Oyster Day
Museum Day
Alan Shepard becomes first American in space, 1961
First US Train robbery in Ohio, 1865
Karl Marx born 1818
Tammy Wynette born 1942
National Hoagie Day
Totally Chipotle Day
Make-up Junkie Day
Join Hands Day
Cartoonists Day
Cinco de Mayo


Quite an interesting list, but I need to add one more to famous events on this day in history:

Sherri's first day of chemotherapy.

All in all it went well. The treatment took about 2 hours and began with a 10 minute infusion of an anti-naseau drug, then a 1 hour infusion of Leucovorin (folinic acid, a vitamin), then the IV push of the 5FU (50% solution) followed up with another hour of the Leucovorin. I felt fine throughout the whole process.

I did have some minor side effects later in the day that I noticed and noted. The first thing I noticed was that my vision was a little more blurred than usual when I wasn't wearing my glasses and my eyes were very sensitive to the sunlight. Sort of like when the eye doctor puts drops in your eyes to dilate them. The second thing I experienced was when I laid down to rest later this afternoon. I laid on my back and closed my eyes, oh boy, dizzy (no comments please!). All I had to do was open my eyes and it was gone. The third thing I noticed was early this evening, around 6:30 PM out of nowhere came this wonderfully delightful yucky taste in my mouth. That is still with me but not as strong as at first.

So now, as I get ready to call it a night, I am thankful to have my first day of chemo under the belt. Tomorrow is another day, Scarlet!

Sherri

Friday, April 25, 2008

Confessions of a Pseudo-Homemaker


I have come to the conclusion that stay-at-home moms/dads have the most well kept secret in the world. And it has to do with scheduling and organization. Now, I am not saying that those of us who work outside of the home don't know about scheduling and organization, after all, we do keep that paperwork up-to-date and juggle those business meetings with phone calls, etc. etc.
But what happens when we of the work world come home? You know, the ones like me, who are running off to nighttime meetings or some erstwhile events of grave importance? How many of us have said, "Oh, no, I couldn't possibly make that night, I will be cleaning my toilet, the fridge, the oven, doing dishes?" I know I have never uttered those words and I find myself suspect of someone who claims to have said such things.

So back to this secret, I believe that those who stay home have it all over us who go out to work when it comes to scheduling and organization. How else can they possibly get everything done, the dusting, the cleaning, the cooking, the shopping, the laundry, appointments, keeping up with the news; the list just goes on and on.

As a newly desginated stay-at-home homemaker, I get exhausted just thinking about how to spend my day. Today I decided to clean the refrigerator. Should take about 15-20 minutes I figured. HAH! First I had to empty it out, then I had to figure out how to take out the shelves, paying close attention so I get them back in right. Then off to the laundry tub to clean all of the components. While I washing out the veggie bins I see etched in the plastic the words "hand wash with warm water". I was going to send them out for dry cleaning? Anyway, while the bins were soaking, I started looking at the contents of the fridge now sitting on my kitchen counter. Hey, some of these things actually have expiration dates on them, I actually saw one that looked like "00" on the label. So now I have to go through ALL of the items and get rid of most. Do you think knowing these things is part of the secret? I do. You see, I have never been a stay at home person so these secrets escape me. Has someone, somewhere written a book?

I have always believed in the old addage of a home being "Clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be happy". Well, I and my cobwebs can attest to this being the biggest myth ever propagated on the go out to work peoples of the world! When we choose to work outside of the home are we really issued rose colored glasses and blinders so that when we walk through the front door we don't notice the dust bunnies having a wild party?

Now mind you, I do dishes, I do laundry, I even take care of the dog. I also dust occasionally, run the sweeper, yada yada yada. But you aren't going to see any Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval hanging on my front door. I think it is too late for me. I truly believe after a certain period of time, if you haven't learned the "secrets' they are lost to you forever.

So what am I going to do? I am going to sit back relax and let nature take its course, and take the following advice:
There was no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. ~Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant, 1968.

Maybe I will write my own book of secrets, a collection of secrets such as the following, gleaned from others:

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. ~Heloise Cruse
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. ~Author Unknown
A clean house is the sign of a boring person. ~Author Unknown
This house is protected by killer dust bunnies. ~Author Unknown
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? ~Erma Bombeck


Live, Love and Laugh for the Dust Bunnies shall prosper!

Sherri

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Last Lecture


I know many of you have seen this or heard about it, I found it very inspirational.


Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by what you bring to life.John Homer Miller



Sherri http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgyuYHXqlO4

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

It's in the Genes


I will try to keep this as uncomplicated as possible, so here goes. Two weeks ago the oncologist ran a blood test on me to see if I had a sensitivity to 5FU one of the main components of my chemo. If you have this sensitivity, it means you have a 60% greater chance of developing toxicity to the 5FU. Well, folks, it is a genetic thing and it is in my genes, I have this sensitivity.

So what you may ask, does this mean for me? What it means is that I will start chemo on 5/5/08 at a reduced amount than is usual. We will try this for a while to see how my body tolerates it. The object is to gradually increase the amount of 5FU then add in the leucovorin and oxiliplatin and avastin, which help the 5FU work.
Instead of having chemo every other week, I will go every week. I will not come home with the portable pump for 48 hours following an infusion in the office, as was the original plan. My oncologist hopes to get me up to this point, she has to wait and see how my body tolerates the 5FU.
So that is the latest from this end. I still feel great, the incision is healing well, both from the colectomy and the insertion of the port catheter. I still get tired easily, but am getting lots of rest. I won't be going back to work at this point due to all the above. If you want to or are interested here is a link to some info about the genetic sensitivity.
Sherri

Saturday, April 19, 2008

1)Always 2) It's Okay

Just some things I came across in a drawer:

Always:

I have always known
that at last
I would take this road, but yesterday
I did not know it would
be today.

Arrivara No Narihira
9th Century Japan


It's Okay:

It's okay to be afraid
of the things we don't understand.
It's okay to feel anxious
when things aren't working our way.
It's okay to feel lonely...
even when you're with other people.
It's okay to feel unfulfilled
because you know something is missing
(even when you're not sure what it is).
It's okay to think and worry and cry.

It's okay to do
whatever you have to do, but
just remember, too...
that eventually you're going to adjust to the changes life brings your way,
and you'll realize that
it's okay to love again and laugh again,
and it's okay to get to the point where
the life you live
is full and satisfying and good to you...
and it will be that way
because you made it that way.

-Laine Parsons

Monday, April 14, 2008

Welcome Baby





Baby Mundy is finally here!


Julia Marie

April 14, 2008



Julia joined us at 2:55 PM, weighing in at 8lbs 10oz


Congratulations Mandy and Jim!


A Baby Lives Here Now
In the corner of the spare room,
There's a little cradle now:
And the day-to-day routine
Has gotten busier somehow.
There's a bib among the napkins--
And a talcumy perfume
Drifts around the little toys
That lie about the room.
The little teddy bear stands guard
With his round and rolly eyes
When all the house is still
But for the sounds of lullabies.
Yet even without all these things,
It's still obvious somehow
From the happiness that fills the air--
A baby lives here now.


Welcome Julia!

Love, Aunt Sherri

Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Seven Rays of the Rainbow







Thank you Sean!

Blue = SPIRITUALITY

Blue is the color of distance - oceans, skies, the heavens. The energy of blue helps us to look beyond the immediate environment, expanding our perceptions towards the unknown. Blue is the color of Divinity. It brings:
Peace and understanding
Enhances the easy flow of communication with yourself or others
Calms and relaxes

Yellow = WISDOM
Yellow is naturally associated with the sun itself, and so with its life giving and sustaining energy.Yellow enriches, lightens and activates many of the systems of the body. It's bright sunny energy brings about:
clarity of thought
orderliness
memory improvement
better decision making skills
alleviates confusion

Red = VITALITY

Red is the color with the longest wavelength, being the nearest visible light to infrared in the electromagnetic spectrum.We feel in red - ACTIVITY. The red ray furnishes sustenance for the physical body. It brings about:
energy
enthusiasm
interest and passion
security
When blue is in harmony with yellow and red, there is peace and balance in body and mind. From this trinity of primary colors emanate the secondary colors...

Orange = CREATIVE ENERGY

Orange combines red and yellow. It contains the fiery energy of red with the wisdom and control of yellow. Orange is a dynamic energy like red but more thoughtful and controlled.Orange brings about:
creativity
playfulness
exploration on a practical level
relief from boredom
equilibrium

Green = LIFE, BALANCE, NATURE

Green is the merging of yellow (mind) and blue (spirit). It is located exactly at the point of color balance - midway between red and violet on the color spectrum. The human eye is able to recognize more variation in the color green than in any other color.Its energy contains:
harmony
sympathy
health
abundance
balance
growth and expansion

Indigo = INFINITY

Indigo amplifies the energy of blue in a profound way. At a physical level, while blue is calming, indigo is sedating. It deepens and turns blue energy inward.The indigo ray symbolizes the bridge between the finite and the infinite and opens the door to the mystical borderland.While blue energy is fast, Indigo energy is more often lightening fast.
opens the subconscious
spiritual attainment
self-mastery
wisdom
sudden awareness
intuition
psychic abilities

Violet = HIGHEST ELEMENT OF SPIRITUAL MASTERY

Violet is the ray of spiritual mastery. It is the highest and most subtle specialization of light, being at the opposite end of the color spectrum to red.It should be viewed as both a completion as well as a beginning of the energy vibration beyond the visible color spectrum. Violet is a combination of both red and blue and this is key to understanding this color. It brings a stabilizing energy to the franticness of red. It lends practicality to the undirected spaciousness of blue.
darker tones are associated with sorrow
deep purple signifies high spiritual attainment
pale lilac brings love for humanity
bluish purple brings idealism
sparks the imagination and inspiration
integrates other energies for healing purposes

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Rainbow Connection


The Rainbow Connection
(sing along with Kermit) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1nRoOGwAvw

Why are there so many songs about rainbows

And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic... ...
Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name. ...
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Laa, da daa dee da daa daa, La laa la la laa dee daa doo...
Kermit The Frog

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

PET Scan


PET scan - reminds me of the joke about the man who went to the doctor who had the man lay on the examining table and first a cat came in and walked around the man, then a dog came in and sniffed the man all over. The doctor left the room, had the man get dressed and come to his office. The doctor then told the man, there is nothing wrong with you and that will be $400.00.
The man jumped up screaming, "$400.00 and there is nothing wrong with me? What is the $400.00 for?" The doctor said, "$300.00 for the Cat scan and $100.00 for the Lab tests". Okay so I took liberty with the joke..either way it is a groaner!
So I had a PET scan today. I had to be there at 7:45 this morning which is in itself a groaner, but after having to fast all night, it is best to be first. They gave me my radiotracer material first then gave me some barium to drink. They claim the barium is orange flavored, but I believe a more accurate description would be YUCK! Then they had me relax in a reclining chair, gave me a blanket, turned down the lights and said see you 90 minutes. You aren't even allowed to read due to the effect of the radiotracer on the eyes. I was cold, but the time passed quickly. I was then ushered into the room with the machine. Looks a lot like a CAT scan machine, more open than an MRI. I had to lie on the table, with my arms above my head and after being moved in and out of the machine a couple of times, I was finished. Pain free except that the barium swallow gave me enough gas to head off any foreseeable shortage in the near future!
The only thing left to do this week from a medical stand point is going to my PCP on Thursday for a pneumonia vaccination which the oncologist recommended before beginning chemo.
So at least for tonight I won't need a nightlight, I should be giving off a soft glow of my own. At least I won't stumble going to the bathroom!
Sherri